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How To Become A ‘Listening’ Parent

There is a popular saying that it’s the children who give birth to parents. And no matter how good a parent you are, there are always ways in which you can be better. This pursuit to improve yourself ultimately rubs off on your child. At DIY, we have been working with kids for a while now and have understood that the most defining part of parenthood is to listen. 

Yes, you read that right. Listening well makes all the difference. Whether it’s a matter of selecting online courses for kids or just watching them excel at something on their own, it’s the parent’s responsibility to pay attention to what their child is saying. 

There are many ways to reach a higher stage of attentiveness while you are around your children. We are listing out a few, which we believe can be extremely helpful – 

Log off. 
We live in a webby world of constant distraction and it’s understandable that you’d be too occupied with work and whatnot but when you should try to have control over your space. For instance, try looking away from your screen/s, avoid multitasking just for the heck of it, and most importantly, pay attention to your child when they have something to say. Your work won’t go anywhere but your child’s thoughts can. 

Be in the now.
When you are talking to your children, go for a long-lasting connection. This can be established (over a period of time) by maintaining eye contact and sitting down to physically reach their level. Kids are more comfortable when they don’t have to deal with a human being that seems like a giant to them. 

Talk later. 
If you wish to listen well, then you need to learn how and when to speak too. First thing first, listen intently. Secondly, don’t go around dismissing what the child has to say, without even letting them finish their sentences. These little efforts have what it takes to build a bridge between you and your children. 

Shrink yourself. 
You are an adult with years and years of experience in this big bad world. But your child is a novice who doesn’t have the luxury of your perspective. So, that leaves us with one only thing: more patience at your end. However small you may think their issue is, it’s always going to appear too big for a child. Try to understand where they are coming from and to do that, you’ll have to pause being too grown-up. 

Never dismiss. 
Quite a lot of parents don’t realize that their dismissal of their kids’ actions or thoughts leaves a lasting impression on the latter. They may be taking singing classes for kids but aren’t up to mark but that doesn’t mean a parent gets to make fun of them. The best possible advice is to NEVER laugh or mock, or react in a way that will push your child away. If you aren’t providing the required cushion for them, they are bound to grow aloof and detached. 

Let them bloom.
Your child is unique in their own way and this knowledge must play a huge part in how you deal with them. Every child must be encouraged to express themselves and when they do that, the parents must take note and respond accordingly. Many times a child might feel like they can’t achieve a certain goal. In times like these, you should be the first to comfort them.

These little but sustained steps can go a long way in helping a child grow in a positive light. After all, your children are your tomorrow and today is best spent on how you can be a better parent.